Nobody gives you wiping lessons after the age of about four, so most men carry on exactly as they were shown and never think about it again. Then a bidet turns up in a holiday flat, or a spray hose appears in a new bathroom, and there are questions you'd rather not ask out loud, starting with which way to face.
The short version comes from the NHS: gently wash and dry your bottom after a poo, use water or an unscented soap, and pat dry rather than rub. A bidet makes the washing part easy.
What is a bidet, and which kind do you have?
A bidet is a fitting that rinses your bottom with water after you've used the toilet. It's used for washing after a poo, and some people use it for a quick freshen-up between showers. In UK bathrooms you'll come across three kinds: a separate bowl next to the toilet, a seat or attachment that adds a water spray to your toilet, and a handheld spray on a hose.
| What it is | Where you find it | How you use it | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Separate bowl | A low basin with its own taps or spout, fitted next to the toilet | Some UK bathrooms, hotels and holiday flats | Use the toilet first, then move across and sit astride the bowl, facing either way |
| Bidet seat or attachment | A toilet seat, or a slim fitting under your seat, with a small nozzle that sprays water | On an ordinary toilet | Stay sitting on the toilet and use the knob or buttons |
| Spray hose | A handheld spray on a hose beside the toilet, also called a shattaf or bidet shower | Bathrooms and shower rooms | Stay sitting, lean forward a little and keep the spray pointing down into the bowl |
Whichever you have, the NHS advice is the same: wash with water only or an unscented soap, then pat dry rather than rub.
A separate bidet is for washing only, so don't wee or poo in it. Use the toilet first, then move across.
How to use a bidet, step by step
To use a bidet, wipe first, rinse with cool to lukewarm water, then pat dry. The details change a little with the kind you have.
- Use the toilet and wipe first with toilet paper, so the water only has a little left to rinse away.
- Get into position. On a separate bidet, sit astride the bowl. Facing the taps makes them easier to reach, but facing away works too. On a bidet seat, stay sitting on the toilet as normal. With a spray hose, stay on the toilet, lean forward a little and aim from behind, keeping the spray pointing down into the bowl so the floor stays dry.
- Test the water on your hand. Start cool or lukewarm with the pressure low, and turn it up only if you need to.
- Rinse your bottom. Let the water do the work, and shift your hips to move the stream rather than reaching for the nozzle. If you need to use a hand, that's fine: wash it properly afterwards.
- Add soap only if you want to. The NHS advice is to wash with water only, or use unscented soap, and to avoid scented soaps, bubble bath and bath oil.
- Pat dry. Use toilet paper or a towel kept just for this. The NHS says not to dry your bottom after washing by wiping or rubbing it: pat it dry with a towel or cotton wool instead.
- Wash your hands with soap and water for about 20 seconds (two rounds of "Happy Birthday", as the NHS puts it). Give a separate bowl a quick rinse for the next person.
How to wipe properly
Wipe gently, use enough paper, and pat rather than scrub. The NHS suggests you gently wash and dry your anus after pooing and before bed, so think of wiping as the first step and a rinse as the finish when you can manage one.
- Use soft paper, and enough of it. Fold it into a pad rather than scrunching it, so your fingers stay well clear.
- Press and lift with a light touch rather than scrubbing back and forth.
- Use a fresh piece each time and stop when the paper comes away clean.
- Finish with water if you can: a bidet, a spray or a rinse in the shower, then pat dry.
- Don't strain on the toilet. The NHS tips for an itchy bottom include not straining and eating plenty of fibre, such as fruit and vegetables, wholegrain bread, pasta and cereal, to avoid constipation.
If your bottom already feels sore or itchy, go gentler still. The NHS advice is to wash with water, pat dry and try not to scratch; if you can't stop, keep your fingernails short.
Wet wipes: are "flushable" wipes really flushable?
Put every wet wipe in the bin, including ones from packs labelled "flushable". Thames Water says even things sold as flushable can still cause blockages in the sewers, so they should go in the bin. Unlike toilet paper, it adds, wet wipes do not break down in the sewer system. Water UK's Bin the Wipe campaign gives the same advice: when you use a wet wipe, put it in the bin, not down the loo.
Thames Water's rule of thumb is the three Ps: flush only pee, poo and toilet paper. Everything else goes in the bin, and a small one with a lid next to the loo makes that painless.
As for using wipes at all, the NHS advice is to avoid wiping or rubbing your bottom too much with wet wipes, and not to use perfumes or powders near your anus. If you like a wipe when you're out and about, pick an unscented one, use it gently and bin it.
Skid marks: why they happen and how to stop them
Skid marks are the brown streaks left in your pants when a little poo stays behind after wiping. They're mildly mortifying, and these habits help keep them away:
- Wash after a poo when you can, with a bidet, a spray or a rinse in the shower, as the NHS suggests, then pat dry.
- Wipe until the paper comes away clean, with a light touch.
- Make sure you're dry before you pull your pants up.
- Wear loose-fitting cotton underwear, as the NHS suggests for a comfortable bottom, and put on a clean pair every day.
- Keep hair manageable if it gets in the way (more on that below).
If you notice poo or liquid leaking from your bottom, that's a different matter: the NHS lists leaking liquid from your bottom as a reason to see a GP.
Hairy bum? Keeping clean when there's hair
A hairy bottom needs the same routine with a bit more patience. Wash with water or an unscented soap, rinse well, and give the hair an extra moment with the towel so you're properly dry before you get dressed. Skip talc and scented products back there: the NHS says not to use perfumes or powders near your anus.
Whether you keep the hair or trim it is your call. If you'd rather have less of it, our guide to how to shave or trim your bum covers doing it carefully, and our manscaping guide for men covers the rest of grooming below the belt.
After the gym, a long ride or a hot day
A sweaty day leaves your bottom damp along with everything else. The NHS says an itchy bottom that gets better quickly may simply have been down to something like sweating a lot in hot weather. A few habits keep things fresher:
- Shower soon after exercise, wash with water or an unscented soap, and pat dry.
- Change into clean, loose-fitting cotton underwear. For body odour, the NHS suggests natural fabrics like cotton, and avoiding tight clothing and manmade fabrics.
- Wash gym kit and cycling shorts after each wear. The NHS suggests changing and washing your clothes regularly.
- Keep cool at night. The NHS suggests avoiding clothing and bedding that make you overheat.
For the front of the operation, our guides to sweaty balls and groin chafing cover staying fresh and stopping the rub.
No bidet? A quick wash in the shower
You don't need a bidet to wash after a poo. In the shower, turn a handheld shower head to a gentle, lukewarm setting, rinse your bottom, and pat dry with your towel. Away from the shower, a jug of lukewarm water poured from behind while you sit on the toilet does the job, once you've got the angle right. A quick rinse before bed is on the NHS list too, so the evening shower counts.
For the rest of a daily wash below the belt, see what is men's intimate skin care? and our men's intimate grooming routine.
When should you see a GP?
The NHS says it's unusual for an itchy bottom to be caused by something serious, but some signs are worth getting checked. See a GP if:
- you have an itchy bottom that isn't going away, or the itch keeps coming back
- you have pain in your bottom
- you have blood in your poo, which might be dark red or black
- you're bleeding or leaking liquid from your bottom
- you've noticed a change in your bowel habits
- your bottom is itchy and you feel itchy on other parts of your body
- you notice a change around your anus that isn't usual for you
For everyday itching or irritation that doesn't settle in a few days, a pharmacist can help, and you can ask if they have a private area where you can talk. If you notice sores, blisters, lumps or a discharge, a GP or an NHS GUM clinic (free, confidential clinics for genital health; you don't usually need a GP referral) can check it. The NHS says a GP may need to examine your bottom to work out what's going on. It's routine for them.
Common questions
Is a bidet more hygienic than toilet paper?
We couldn't find NHS advice comparing the two. The NHS does suggest gently washing and drying your bottom after a poo, which a bidet makes easy, then patting dry rather than rubbing.
Do you still need toilet paper with a bidet?
Usually, yes: wipe first, rinse with the bidet, then pat dry with toilet paper or a towel kept for the job. The NHS says to pat your bottom dry after washing rather than wipe or rub it.
Can you use soap with a bidet?
Yes, as long as it's unscented. The NHS says to wash with water only or use unscented soap, and to avoid scented soaps, bubble bath and bath oil.
Which way do you face on a bidet?
On a separate bidet bowl, either way works; facing the taps makes them easier to reach. On a bidet seat or with a spray hose, stay sitting on the toilet as normal.
Can you flush wet wipes if they say flushable?
No. Thames Water says even wipes sold as flushable can cause blockages in the sewers, so put all wipes in the bin and flush only pee, poo and toilet paper.
How do I stop getting skid marks?
Wipe gently until the paper comes away clean, rinse with water when you can, as the NHS suggests, and make sure you're dry before you dress. Wear loose-fitting cotton underwear and put on a clean pair every day.
When should I see a GP about my bottom?
If an itch won't go or keeps coming back, or you have pain, blood in your poo, bleeding or leaking from your bottom, a change in your bowel habits, or a change around your anus that isn't usual for you.
Sources
General information for adults 18+, not medical advice. If a skin problem doesn't settle, or you're worried, speak to a pharmacist or GP.